You don't have a plan. Most people don't. Here's where to start.

The paperwork you know exists but haven't looked at. The Google searches you start and then close.

Here's the truth: you don't have a plan. And you're not alone - most people don't.

But here's the other truth: winging it works until it doesn't. And when it doesn't work, you're making massive decisions in crisis mode while terrified and exhausted.

So let's fix that. Not with a 47-step system. With a starting point

 

You've noticed things are changing for Mum. You see it. But you haven't made a plan because:

• It feels like admitting something bad is coming

• It makes you anxious

• You don't know what you don't know

• Every time you try to research, you fall down a rabbit hole

• Your parent won't talk about it

• Your siblings aren't on the same page

All of this? Completely normal. 86% of Australians don't have a plan for this stage of life. Not because they don't care - families care deeply. They just plan poorly.

Not planning doesn't stop things from changing. It just means you'll be unprepared when they do.

 

A care plan for an ageing parent isn't a 40-page legal document. It's knowing the answers to these questions before you need them:

The Big Four:

1. Mum’s care preferences, wishes & medical decisions
What does Mum want as she ages? Who decides when she can't?

2. Home & care
Where will she live and who'll provide care as her needs change?

3. Money & legal documents
Who's paying? What support exists? Are the critical documents in place?

4. Family roles
Who's doing this with you, and are you aligned?

That's it. Start there.

 

Step 1: Have the "just in case" conversation

Not "let's plan for when you get old." Try this:

"I was reading about how chaotic things get when families don't have basic info. Can we spend 20 minutes going through the practical stuff - just so I'm not scrambling if something happens?"

What to cover:

• Where are the important documents? (Will, Power of Attorney, insurance)

• Who's her GP and what medications is she on?

• What does she want if she can't speak for herself medically?

• What matters most to her as she ages - staying in her home? Being near family?

 

 

You need three types of legal documents:

For medical decisions
Who makes health and care decisions if Mum can't speak for herself?
In NSW this is called an Enduring Guardian. In Victoria it's a Medical Treatment Decision Maker. In Queensland, South Australia, and other states, it's part of your Enduring Power of Attorney.

For day-to-day money management
Who manages money and property while she still has capacity (temporary situations like hospital stays or travel). This is called a General Power of Attorney in most states (or just Power of Attorney).

For long-term financial management
Who manages money and property if she loses capacity permanently?
This is called an Enduring Power of Attorney across most of Australia. In Queensland, this document can also cover medical decisions.

The exact names and processes vary by state, but the functions are the same. It costs around $150-300 for document preparation, plus lawyer fees. 
 

 

Create a simple document with four sections matching the Big Four:

Her wishes & medical decisions:

• Current health conditions, medications, and doctors

• Medicare number and health fund details

• What she's said about her care preferences

• Advanced Care Plans or Directives

Home & care:

• Current living situation and safety concerns

• What support she already has

• What you think she might need in the next 1-2 years

• My Aged Care registration status

Money & legal:

• Super funds and bank account details

• Insurance policies and Centrelink payments

• Where legal documents are kept

Family roles:

• Who lives nearby vs far away

• Who's been doing what so far

• Who has the capacity to help (time, money, emotional bandwidth)

• Areas of disagreement or tension

 

You can't do this alone. And you can't do it if everyone has different assumptions.

Schedule a family conversation. Keep it practical:

"I want to make sure we're all on the same page about Mum. Not because anything's wrong right now, but so we're not scrambling later. Can we talk through who's doing what?"

What to discuss:

• Who's the primary contact with Mum's doctors?

• Who's managing finances if needed?

• Who lives close enough to help day-to-day?

• What's everyone's capacity - time, money, emotional bandwidth?

• What are the dealbreakers? (e.g., "Mum said she never wants to go into a residential aged care")

You won't get perfect alignment. But you need to know where the gaps are BEFORE a crisis hits.

[Link to: "How to get your siblings on the same page about parent care"]

Here's what you need to know: Australia's aged care system has waiting lists. Long ones.

There’s no guarantee that an aged care bed will be available in the area you’d prefer. Home Care Package waiting lists can be 12+ months for higher levels. You can't just "sign up when you need it."

The three main types of aged care support:

Residential aged care
24/7 care when home is no longer safe. What most people call "nursing homes."

Home care
Help with daily tasks, help around the house, personal care, and nursing. Ranges from a few hours a week to round-the-clock care.

Respite care
Short-term relief for you. Because you can't do this 24/7 forever.

Register with My Aged Care early (1800 200 422). Get assessed early. Even if you don't need support right now.

[Link to: "What happens when you don't plan - the real costs of winging it"] [Link to: "My Aged Care explained - how to navigate the system without losing your mind"]

 

"My parent won't talk about it"
Start with paperwork, not mortality: "I'm updating my own will. Do you have yours sorted? Where would I find it?"

"My siblings will never agree"
You don't need a consensus to start. Get the basic documents. Map out who's doing what now. Surface the disagreements early - finding out your sister promised Mum she'd never go into care is information you need before the crisis.

"I don't even know what questions to ask"
Start with the Big Four. Everything branches from those.

"This feels premature"
The best time to do this is before you need it. The second-best time is now.

 

Having these conversations can feel heavy. Making these plans feels premature. But here's what planning actually is:

It's insurance against panic.

You're not manifesting change by preparing for it. You're making sure that when hard things happen (and they will), you can focus on being a daughter instead of a detective scrambling through Centrelink forms at midnight.

Start small. Start messy. But start.