Mum had a fall. Now what? Start here.

The call came. Your elderly mum's had a fall. She's in hospital.

Everything just changed.

Your phone is buzzing. Your boss needs to know when you'll be back. Someone at the hospital is asking questions you don't know how to answer. Your siblings want updates. And somewhere in all of this, you're supposed to know what to do next.

Here's the truth: you're not supposed to know. Most people don't have a plan for this moment. Most people are exactly where you are right now - trying to think clearly while their heart is racing.

Let's get you through today.

 

1. Get somewhere you can think

Find somewhere to sit. A hospital cafe. Your car. A quiet corridor. Anywhere you can have ten minutes to breathe.

You can't think clearly while standing in a hallway with your phone going flat and three people trying to talk to you at once.

2. The essential questions to ask

To the medical team:

• What happened, in plain language?

• Is she stable right now?

• WIll she need any type of surgery?

• How long will she likely be in the hospital?

• Who's her main doctor or nurse?

• When can I visit?

• When do doctors do ward rounds? (Usually 8-10am - be there for those conversations)

Write down:

• Ward name and phone number

• Her bed/room number

• Nurse's and doctor's names

• When they do ward rounds

You don't need to understand everything they say. You just need names and numbers.

3. Who to tell today

Tell these people:

• If she was in residential aged care: Speak with the facility immediately

• One or two people who can actually help (your organised sister, her neighbour with a key)

• Your work: "Family emergency, will update you tomorrow"

Everyone else can wait until tomorrow. Including the sibling who'll have opinions but no practical help.

4. Before you leave the hospital

Ask the nurse:

• "What happens next?"

• "When should I come back?"

• "Who do I call if I have questions?"

Get in writing:

• Ward contact details

• Visiting hours

• Any follow-up appointments

Then leave. Go home. Sit in your car for ten minutes if you need to.

You cannot solve this today. Today you showed up. That's enough.

 

The severity of the fall and any subsequent injuries - as well as where your parent was living before the fall and where they'll go after the hospital - changes everything about what you need to do this week.

Read the scenarios below and pick the one that matches your situation. That article will give you the specific guidance you need.

 

Mum was living independently (or with a partner) and the plan is for her to return home.

This is you if:

• The hospital says she can go home with support

• You need to make her house safe quickly

• You're trying to understand home care services

• Equipment and modifications are being mentioned

• She'll need help but can still live at home

What you'll focus on:

• Home safety modifications this week

• Setting up support services fast

• Understanding equipment needs

• Preventing the next fall

→ Read: She's Going Home - Your First Week Action Plan

 

The hospital is saying she needs rehab, respite, or "somewhere" before she can go home.

This is you if:

• They're mentioning "transition care" or "rehab"

• She needs more recovery time before going home

• You're buying time to figure out if home will work

• Words like "ACAT assessment" are being thrown around

• You need to understand the bridge options

What you'll focus on:

• Understanding rehab vs respite vs transition care

• How long these options take

• What happens after the temporary placement

• Making decisions without being rushed

→ Read: She Can't Go Home Yet - Understanding Your Bridge Options

 

In your gut, you know she can't return home. The house isn't safe. Mum can't manage alone.

This is you if:

• This fall has made it clear home won't work

• You're grieving a decision you didn't expect to make now

• You need to understand residential aged care

• The family is in conflict about what happens next

• You're feeling overwhelmed and guilty

What you'll focus on:

• Processing this massive change

• Understanding aged care placement

• Managing family reactions

• Practical next steps without panic

→ Read: She Can't Go Home Again - Making the Residential Care Decision in Crisis

 

Mum was already living in aged care and will go back after hospital.

This is you if:

• She was in residential care when the fall happened

• You're questioning if the facility is safe enough

• You need to understand what changes should be made

• You're worried this was preventable

• Your role is advocate, not hands-on carer

What you'll focus on:

• Understanding what happened and why

• Questions to ask the facility

• Whether the current facility is adequate

• Your rights and their responsibilities

→ Read: She's returning to aged care - What you need to know

 

She was already living in your home (or a sibling's) and will continue to.

This is you if:

• She lives in your household

• This fall changes what care she needs at home

• You're wondering if you can still manage this

• Your family is affected by her care needs

• You need support services in YOUR home

What you'll focus on:

• How this changes your household

• Support services for family carers

• Equipment and modifications in your space

• When to ask for more help

→ Read: She lives with you - Managing In-Home Care after crisis

 

Your dad or her partner was managing until now, but this fall shows he can't cope alone anymore.

This is you if:

• She lives with a spouse/partner

• He's been struggling but you didn't realize how much

• You're now supporting TWO people

• You're worried about separating them

• Dual care planning feels overwhelming

What you'll focus on:

• Supporting both parents simultaneously

• Whether they can stay together

• Respite and care options for couples

• Managing two people's needs at once

→ Read: When both parents need help - Dual Care Planning Guide

 

She's fractured her hip, pelvis, or spine and needs an operation before anything else can happen.

This is you if:

• The doctor has said she needs hip surgery

• You're hearing words like "hip replacement" or "internal fixation"

• She's fractured her pelvis or spine and needs surgical repair

• Surgery is scheduled for tomorrow (or today)

• Everything else is on hold until after the operation

• You're terrified of the surgery risks at her age

• The hospital is talking about rehab after surgery

What you'll focus on:

• Understanding what the surgery involves

• Managing immediate post-surgery period

• Rehab and recovery timeline

• Where she goes after hospital

• Preventing complications

→ Read: She needs surgery first - What to expect and what happens next

 

This week, you need to:

1. Show up for medical conversations

2. Understand where she's going after hospital

3. Gather basic information (Medicare card, medications, contacts)

4. Keep family basically informed

5. Keep yourself basically functioning

That's it. That's enough.

 

Right now, just pick your scenario above and read that article. It will tell you what actually matters this week - not everything, just what needs your attention right now.